Somewhat questionable
Aug. 23rd, 2010 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maratonistaSomewhat questionable
PG-13
Cougar/Jensen, with a side of Pooch/Jolene
Cougar has some pretty suspect ways of showing Jensen he cares.
I promised![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elenorasweet, katrinbisiani and killedmedead something cute and fluffy. I'm not sure this qualifies. More fuzz than fluff.
Jensen’s been shot, stabbed, maimed, hit by a car, thrown off a building, buried alive and sent to lala land on a really fucked up LSD trip.
And that’s in the last twelve months.
He thinks it is pretty fucking unfair then that he’s the one subjected to this new, seriously fucking twisted form of torture.
He’s in his boxers and he’s duct taped to a chair.
Not tied, but fucking duct taped. With actual fucking duct.
That shit fucking murders his skin.
Inconsiderate bastards.
Cougar’s gagged him with his bandana, and smirking at him from the other side of the kitchen.
Jensen kicked him in the face when Cougar taped his legs to the chair.
Doesn’t look like he gives a fuck, either.
Jensen really hates Cougar sometimes.
He only puts up with him for the mind shattering sex.
Really.
But apparently, this is Pooch’s idea.
Or rather Jolene’s.
Thing is, Jensen bets Jolene said abso-fucking-lutely nothing about the whole happy-go-lucky bondage crap. That’s just their sick, twisted interpretation of her orders.
And if it was Jolene’s idea, Jensen wouldn’t be putting up half as much of a fight.
Jensen’s sweating up a storm, despite the lack of clothes.
The oven’s on hot, and the room is thick with the sweet, sickly smell of melting chocolate and cinnamon.
When Jensen gets free, he’s going to cut Cougar’s hear, and hold Pooch’s stupid motherfucking dog hostage.
Only it’s four am, and the fuckers dragged him out of bed.
Jensen can actually sleep anywhere, even tied up half naked in a kitchen full of crazy people.
So he does that instead.
“It’s been decided,” Pooch says an hour later. He’s covered in cookie batter, and Jensen is tempted to lick him, just to piss Cougar off. “That you don’t fucking eat enough.”
Jensen’s been dozing, and the words don’t make all that much sense.
He waits until Cougar tugs down the bandana and waves a chocolate chip cookie under his nose.
“I eat!” He says indignantly. And he totally does.
“You drink.” Cougar corrects. “Caffeine. Too much caffeine.”
“So your solution to me being over caffeinated is to wake me up in the middle of the motherfucking night and what, bake me cookies? Do you seriously want me on a sugar high? Because you get to be the one to explain that to the Colonel. I mean it. I’ll bounce, I’ll bounce right out the door and down the fucking street.”
“Cougar’ll keep you busy.” Pooch doesn’t look concerned with the potential ramifications of Jensen on a sugar rush.
Pooch is clearly stupid.
Four Star Generals will blockade North Korea before they give Jensen sugar.
That diplomatic incident in Stockholm?
Yeah. That was all down to the sugar.
Jensen’s blameless, he really is.
Cougar’s solution to Jensen's refusal is to pinch Jensen’s nose until he can’t breathe, then force cookie after cookie into his mouth.
Clearly he skipped the class on seductive feeding.
So there’s Jensen, duct taped to a chair with Pooch cackling and Cougar feeding, and Clay’s only reaction is to say “Make sure you clean up when you’re done.”
Jensen needs to transfer to another unit, asap.
“You know,” Cougar gives him milk with a sippy straw after the seventh cookie. It’s romantic, and completely fucked up. “Most people go with chocolate dipped strawberries, or cream or, I don’t know, anything but this whole weird S&M vibe you’ve got going. I like kinky as much as the next guy, but I think you’re taking things a little too far, yeah?”
Cougar shrugs and fetches a blanket from their kit. He tucks it round Jensen’s shoulders, and it’s weirdly sweet, in a Norman Bates kind of way.
Jensen falls asleep with cookie crumbs under his chin and a satisfied Pooch reporting in to Jolene via satellite phone.
Cougar pets his knee affectionately.
For him, kidnapping, bondage and force feeding are as close to flowers and poetry as he’ll get.
“I can’t believe I have to tie you down to take care of you.” Cougar mutters to himself as Jensen goes under.
Jensen manages a smile. Yeah, he’s just that awesome.
He wakes up to the rip of tape and the hairs on his arms and legs abandoning ship.
Motherfuck!
PG-13
Cougar/Jensen, with a side of Pooch/Jolene
Cougar has some pretty suspect ways of showing Jensen he cares.
I promised
elenorasweet, katrinbisiani and killedmedead something cute and fluffy. I'm not sure this qualifies. More fuzz than fluff.Jensen’s been shot, stabbed, maimed, hit by a car, thrown off a building, buried alive and sent to lala land on a really fucked up LSD trip.
And that’s in the last twelve months.
He thinks it is pretty fucking unfair then that he’s the one subjected to this new, seriously fucking twisted form of torture.
He’s in his boxers and he’s duct taped to a chair.
Not tied, but fucking duct taped. With actual fucking duct.
That shit fucking murders his skin.
Inconsiderate bastards.
Cougar’s gagged him with his bandana, and smirking at him from the other side of the kitchen.
Jensen kicked him in the face when Cougar taped his legs to the chair.
Doesn’t look like he gives a fuck, either.
Jensen really hates Cougar sometimes.
He only puts up with him for the mind shattering sex.
Really.
But apparently, this is Pooch’s idea.
Or rather Jolene’s.
Thing is, Jensen bets Jolene said abso-fucking-lutely nothing about the whole happy-go-lucky bondage crap. That’s just their sick, twisted interpretation of her orders.
And if it was Jolene’s idea, Jensen wouldn’t be putting up half as much of a fight.
Jensen’s sweating up a storm, despite the lack of clothes.
The oven’s on hot, and the room is thick with the sweet, sickly smell of melting chocolate and cinnamon.
When Jensen gets free, he’s going to cut Cougar’s hear, and hold Pooch’s stupid motherfucking dog hostage.
Only it’s four am, and the fuckers dragged him out of bed.
Jensen can actually sleep anywhere, even tied up half naked in a kitchen full of crazy people.
So he does that instead.
“It’s been decided,” Pooch says an hour later. He’s covered in cookie batter, and Jensen is tempted to lick him, just to piss Cougar off. “That you don’t fucking eat enough.”
Jensen’s been dozing, and the words don’t make all that much sense.
He waits until Cougar tugs down the bandana and waves a chocolate chip cookie under his nose.
“I eat!” He says indignantly. And he totally does.
“You drink.” Cougar corrects. “Caffeine. Too much caffeine.”
“So your solution to me being over caffeinated is to wake me up in the middle of the motherfucking night and what, bake me cookies? Do you seriously want me on a sugar high? Because you get to be the one to explain that to the Colonel. I mean it. I’ll bounce, I’ll bounce right out the door and down the fucking street.”
“Cougar’ll keep you busy.” Pooch doesn’t look concerned with the potential ramifications of Jensen on a sugar rush.
Pooch is clearly stupid.
Four Star Generals will blockade North Korea before they give Jensen sugar.
That diplomatic incident in Stockholm?
Yeah. That was all down to the sugar.
Jensen’s blameless, he really is.
Cougar’s solution to Jensen's refusal is to pinch Jensen’s nose until he can’t breathe, then force cookie after cookie into his mouth.
Clearly he skipped the class on seductive feeding.
So there’s Jensen, duct taped to a chair with Pooch cackling and Cougar feeding, and Clay’s only reaction is to say “Make sure you clean up when you’re done.”
Jensen needs to transfer to another unit, asap.
“You know,” Cougar gives him milk with a sippy straw after the seventh cookie. It’s romantic, and completely fucked up. “Most people go with chocolate dipped strawberries, or cream or, I don’t know, anything but this whole weird S&M vibe you’ve got going. I like kinky as much as the next guy, but I think you’re taking things a little too far, yeah?”
Cougar shrugs and fetches a blanket from their kit. He tucks it round Jensen’s shoulders, and it’s weirdly sweet, in a Norman Bates kind of way.
Jensen falls asleep with cookie crumbs under his chin and a satisfied Pooch reporting in to Jolene via satellite phone.
Cougar pets his knee affectionately.
For him, kidnapping, bondage and force feeding are as close to flowers and poetry as he’ll get.
“I can’t believe I have to tie you down to take care of you.” Cougar mutters to himself as Jensen goes under.
Jensen manages a smile. Yeah, he’s just that awesome.
He wakes up to the rip of tape and the hairs on his arms and legs abandoning ship.
Motherfuck!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:21 pm (UTC)omg... I think I ripped my stomach open laughing so much. *dies*
That diplomatic incident in Stockholm?
Yeah. That was all down to the sugar.
Jensen’s blameless, he really is.
This made my day, and I got to get that icon. *goes off to search for it*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 11:02 pm (UTC)Oh, I'm sure that's the reason. *nod, nod* Keeping an eye on the hyperactive bouncing ball of doom. *snigger*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:26 pm (UTC)Motherfuck!"
Hahaha perfect ending to a romantic story. Those two are sweet in their own way.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:59 pm (UTC)Thank you for reading!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:35 pm (UTC)Jensen needs to transfer to another unit, asap.
Ha! Poor Jensen. They're just trying to care for you,bebe!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 10:59 pm (UTC)Seriously, no demands here - only praise. Loved this! I love fluffy fics and this was just awesome to wake up to this morning. :D I feel like I can go and deal with our new teachers now - it's given me ideas. ^^ I think we have duct tape at the office....
Also yay Jolene! ^^ Cookies at 4am!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 11:26 pm (UTC)“I can’t believe I have to tie you down to take care of you.” Cougar mutters to himself as Jensen goes under.
Jensen manages a smile. Yeah, he’s just that awesome.
Awww.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 11:28 pm (UTC)Also, I totally second the request for a follow-up - and I can't decide if I want to see the plan they came up with specifically to deal with the SugarAddled!Jensen fall-out or what happens when SugarAddled!Jensen outwits them and goes on his promised rampage.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 06:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-25 11:44 pm (UTC)but i'm cracking up at this and it has seriously made my day and right now i'm feeling batty enough to just hit post and say that instead of trying to figure out the right way to say that.
so - thank you. your writing = awesome, if a little soul flaying at times (but hey - who doesnt like a little flaying every now and then ;p) and the thought and imagery of all this, will leave me grinning like a loon for at least the rest of the day. Awesomesauce. With cookie dough even!
(yeah, seriously - sorry - not always this nuts, just - ignore but accept my grateful fangirling please:)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 12:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 02:30 am (UTC)And Clay, surprisingly. I'm starting to love his little one-liners.
Cause he barely gets more then that xD
(: this was cute and romantic in a Losers kinda way. and it kinda made me hungry.
goodness all around then!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 05:18 am (UTC)Nobody does flowers and poetry anymore. That's soooo 90's. XDDDD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 06:17 am (UTC)Oooh I'm cited into a maratonista fic, header HEEEE (*ascended fangull moment*)
*cough*
*recompose herself
*proceed to snicker and cackle and laugh strong enough to wake the cats* (literally. I woke up my cats who were peacefully sleeping in the other room)
THAT IS AWESOME! Really, Really, REALLY AWESOME!
He’s in his boxers and he’s duct taped to a chair.
Not tied, but fucking duct taped. With actual fucking duct.
AHAHAHAH what else did you expected? Cuffs? Please, as if they would use something you can get out of!
Jensen kicked him in the face when Cougar taped his legs to the chair.
Doesn’t look like he gives a fuck, either.
Jensen really hates Cougar sometimes.
*delighted cackling*
Really.
Yup and if you say it for long enough maybe you (the only one in the world) will believe it. *snickers*
Thing is, Jensen bets Jolene said abso-fucking-lutely nothing about the whole happy-go-lucky bondage crap. That’s just their sick, twisted interpretation of her orders.
They are Black Ops, they operate efficiently when on a mission *snickers loudly*. Also I bet Jolene mentioned something to Pooch in passing like "You'll probably need to force-feed them to him" and then Cougar heard it and he light up (because that would also let him do his watching undisturbed by Jensen creating problems and attracting bad-luck just by breathing.
Pooch says an hour later. He’s covered in cookie batter, and Jensen is tempted to lick him, just to piss Cougar off.
Jensen, you'll need your teeth and you'll need to be able to walk, remember it.
Do you seriously want me on a sugar high? Because you get to be the one to explain that to the Colonel. I mean it. I’ll bounce, I’ll bounce right out the door and down the fucking street.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *snickers* *cackles*
“Cougar’ll keep you busy.” Pooch doesn’t look concerned with the potential ramifications of Jensen on a sugar rush.
Pooch is clearly stupid.
Four Star Generals will blockade North Korea before they give Jensen sugar.
That diplomatic incident in Stockholm?
Yeah. That was all down to the sugar.
Pooch, honey, I love you but ... *clears voice* physically, he’s strong as an ox. Mentally, he’s leaps and fucking bounds ahead of the rest of you. He’s, well, beautiful, for lack of a better term *cough*
Okay, quote-from-memory-moment over. Cougar can tie him but the moment the sugar-rush hit? You are all FRAKKED, ok?
And I need to see it. The crowning moment of triumph of Jake Jensen. The day he hit the mother of all sugar rushes. Field day for catastrophe. *notes that she sounds like corny movies* THE DAY OF RECKONING! *bellows*
*collapse into a fit of snickers and cackles*
So there’s Jensen, duct taped to a chair with Pooch cackling and Cougar feeding, and Clay’s only reaction is to say “Make sure you clean up when you’re done.”
Jensen needs to transfer to another unit, asap.
Jensen, there is no unit who could survive you except this one *pets him*
Cougar shrugs and fetches a blanket from their kit. He tucks it round Jensen’s shoulders, and it’s weirdly sweet, in a Norman Bates kind of way.
HEEEEEEEEEEE I love when they know what they're doing it's fucked up but in a kind of 'awww' way.
Cougar pets his knee affectionately.
For him, kidnapping, bondage and force feeding are as close to flowers and poetry as he’ll get.
OH COUGS *awwwwwwwww and then snickers really loudly*
Ok, I'm sorry I quoted more than half of your fic back at you, but I couldn't help myself I SWEAR!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 07:43 am (UTC)It is just me hoping you will accept to write a sequel to this.
Maybe with the rest of the Losers trying to catch up to Jensen and continously running into what he left behind? Dealing with the aftermath and following the screams? (Ok I won't quote Jurassic Park again). Following the debris?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 01:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 08:52 am (UTC):DDD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-26 01:50 pm (UTC)This??
Four Star Generals will blockade North Korea before they give Jensen sugar.
That diplomatic incident in Stockholm?
Yeah. That was all down to the sugar.
Jensen’s blameless, he really is.
FTW. I about died laughing reading this. Awesome job.